Do you ever have that moment when a kid is looking at you and you realize that they’re looking at you as a grown up? Then its like no child im a children too, dont. Im sorry my outward appearance confuses you.
I’m sorry my outward appearance and standard behaviors confuse you. I know I’m an adult because I don’t have to ask for cookies. I just give them to myself.
…and then I dunk the cookies in wine while watching as much TV as I want…
do you think obama attends high school reuinions and is like “oh hey jimmy. remember when you would shove me into the lockers in the 10th grade? yeah well guess what. fuck you im the president”
my uncle went to elementary school with Obama and he told us that a bunch of kids did once lock him in a locker
the truth is out obama
(Source: lieutenantbites, via o-kkayy)
How many altos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they can’t get that high.
How many sopranos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, she holds it up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
How many singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. An alto to actually do it and a soprano to stand by and ask “isn’t that a little high for you?”